The sadness hits like a shot of whisky
With no warning I am lost into a yearning
For what
I don't know, I don't know
I can see it far into the distance
like a flurry, it is drifting
Maybe if I hurry I will make it...
go
Oh, I don't know
Oh, I don't know
You don't' know me
I don't me
He told me that I was worthy
Ohhhhh, I don't know.
Don't ask me.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
My love for the color brown.
I love brown for many reasons.
1. My couch is brown. When I think of a couch I think of a safe haven a place where I can finally escape.
2. Brown is the color of my skin and I try not to have animosity towards things that I can't change. Such as why do people have a need to buy crocs in 2015? And who let the guy who invented math out the house that day? Some things are unfathomable.
3.I think brown doesn't get enough credit. You what's brown? Mud. I love Mud. Everybody loves rolling in the mud, especially the 3-6 year old me.
4.Poop. Everybody loves to be regular. Don't lie.
5.
I love the movie Pocahontas. You see there's some brown in that movie poster.
6. Croissants are brown.
7. Nutella is brown.
8.My mom is a light brown and I love my mom.
Anyway's this my post about the color brown. So everybody get regular and love some brown.
I love brown for many reasons.
1. My couch is brown. When I think of a couch I think of a safe haven a place where I can finally escape.
2. Brown is the color of my skin and I try not to have animosity towards things that I can't change. Such as why do people have a need to buy crocs in 2015? And who let the guy who invented math out the house that day? Some things are unfathomable.
3.I think brown doesn't get enough credit. You what's brown? Mud. I love Mud. Everybody loves rolling in the mud, especially the 3-6 year old me.
4.Poop. Everybody loves to be regular. Don't lie.
5.
I love the movie Pocahontas. You see there's some brown in that movie poster.6. Croissants are brown.
7. Nutella is brown.
8.My mom is a light brown and I love my mom.
Anyway's this my post about the color brown. So everybody get regular and love some brown.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
My anxiety
Hello, this blog post is about something that I have struggled with for quite awhile, anxiety. For most of my life I would consider myself an anxious person. For me I realized I might have anxiety about three years ago, but it got worse once I entered college. I was not having a good time my first quarter in college, I was in a new place with new people, which isn't easy for an introvert like me. I was sitting in my room stressing about school and where I was going in life and all of a sudden it felt like the walls around me were getting closer trying to suffocate me and my breathing was harder. I shuddered and shook everywhere in my body. It was a terrifying experience. I had no idea what or why my body was doing this to me. Until I looked up what had happened to me and the word anxiety came up.
It all made sense. Throughout my childhood I had a crippling fear of going out to large events or meeting new people because I would get sweaty and my mind would collapse to the point where I would just sit and be quiet because I was afraid. My sister the extrovert thought it was odd, but I just thought this was me being introverted. I would have weeks where I couldn't sleep because my mind would wander, but I didn't think much of it. Whenever I enter a crowded grocery store my mind would become fuddled and rush me to the emptiest place possible while my family would look at me bewildered.
When I had this realization that put my feelings and actions into perspective, I immediately went to my parents whom I had thought would be supportive. It was quite the opposite. As I told them my experience with what I thought was a panic attack, they stared at like I had told them I wanna wear clown shoes for the rest of my life. They replied that it's simply a phase, and you'll get over it. I was shocked but not. My parents are both immigrants from a place and family that doesn't consider mental illness a illness. But I myself hadn't considered anxiety a mental illness until that moment. But why do people feel this way when you talk about a mental illness? I was simply expressing how I felt, not trying to create a label around me. So this week I want to emphasize that mental illness should not have a stigma, period. i just want to be heard and understand not judged. With that said, I am not angry at my parents, I understand and I hope I can change their thought on the subject. That's all.
Love,
Average Being
It all made sense. Throughout my childhood I had a crippling fear of going out to large events or meeting new people because I would get sweaty and my mind would collapse to the point where I would just sit and be quiet because I was afraid. My sister the extrovert thought it was odd, but I just thought this was me being introverted. I would have weeks where I couldn't sleep because my mind would wander, but I didn't think much of it. Whenever I enter a crowded grocery store my mind would become fuddled and rush me to the emptiest place possible while my family would look at me bewildered.
When I had this realization that put my feelings and actions into perspective, I immediately went to my parents whom I had thought would be supportive. It was quite the opposite. As I told them my experience with what I thought was a panic attack, they stared at like I had told them I wanna wear clown shoes for the rest of my life. They replied that it's simply a phase, and you'll get over it. I was shocked but not. My parents are both immigrants from a place and family that doesn't consider mental illness a illness. But I myself hadn't considered anxiety a mental illness until that moment. But why do people feel this way when you talk about a mental illness? I was simply expressing how I felt, not trying to create a label around me. So this week I want to emphasize that mental illness should not have a stigma, period. i just want to be heard and understand not judged. With that said, I am not angry at my parents, I understand and I hope I can change their thought on the subject. That's all.
Love,
Average Being
Sunday, February 1, 2015
Average College Student
Hello, welcome to my blog! I decided to start this blog simply because I felt a need to talk but had no to necessarily talk to and had recently been listening to "Like a Star" by Corinne Bailey Rae and it had me feeling quite nostalgic. Anyways, in the mean time I have began listening to Kanye West's Blame Game, which hasn't helped.
What I wanted to talk about was college or education in general and its structure around it. Now I'm not going to talk about reform and where it's going but rather how it actually makes the student feel, nobody really talks about that. Nor will I be talking about student loan debt, just about the actual concept of school.
I am a freshman in college who lives at home. I go to a private school in which I don't necessarily love or hate. School ,for a large part of my life, has been that laundry that's been piling up in your room that you do but would rather have watched T.V instead. My earliest memory of school was when I was in second grade my father picked me up and I simply said, "I hate school." My father the immigrant who valued school and education replied,"You have to like it! Or else you'll get nowhere."
The reason I hated school so much was at a young age I learned school, just like most things in real life is a hierarchal system. To put this in terms, that day in my second grade class I had raised my hand to answer a question which my teacher said it was incorrect, until the blonde girl in the corner said the same thing but somehow her answer was right. This is how it went until High school and even now. But I don't want to talk about that either. I want to talk how there is an immense amount of pressure everyone feels through school and growing up.
I worked very hard in high school to get into a good school, then I get to the new school realizing that , "How am I going to succeed if there are a million other people like me? and some are much better than me." It's frustrating and scary.
I want this blog not to solely be about me but I want you guys to submit me stories where you felt happy,sad, frustrated about and I would love to put my input on them.
Love,
Average Being
What I wanted to talk about was college or education in general and its structure around it. Now I'm not going to talk about reform and where it's going but rather how it actually makes the student feel, nobody really talks about that. Nor will I be talking about student loan debt, just about the actual concept of school.
I am a freshman in college who lives at home. I go to a private school in which I don't necessarily love or hate. School ,for a large part of my life, has been that laundry that's been piling up in your room that you do but would rather have watched T.V instead. My earliest memory of school was when I was in second grade my father picked me up and I simply said, "I hate school." My father the immigrant who valued school and education replied,"You have to like it! Or else you'll get nowhere."
The reason I hated school so much was at a young age I learned school, just like most things in real life is a hierarchal system. To put this in terms, that day in my second grade class I had raised my hand to answer a question which my teacher said it was incorrect, until the blonde girl in the corner said the same thing but somehow her answer was right. This is how it went until High school and even now. But I don't want to talk about that either. I want to talk how there is an immense amount of pressure everyone feels through school and growing up.
I worked very hard in high school to get into a good school, then I get to the new school realizing that , "How am I going to succeed if there are a million other people like me? and some are much better than me." It's frustrating and scary.
I want this blog not to solely be about me but I want you guys to submit me stories where you felt happy,sad, frustrated about and I would love to put my input on them.
Love,
Average Being
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